It
is close to midnight, he is sitting on his bed quietly and looking at the clock
ticking and his heart is waiting anxiously, when the minute hand will move and
begin a new day. There is an eerie silence everywhere, even the distant barks
of dogs doesn’t affect him today.
It’s
been ten days now, since he has been feeling this way but he has no clue, what
to do about it. He has been trying to embrace his darkness but every night he
is scared, he is not able to sleep. He feels suffocated as if someone is trying
to choke him to death but not killing him actually.
It
is the feeling of suffering that envelopes him every night, it is the feeling of
loneliness that holds him tightly into its clutches and it is the feeling of
self-destruction that makes him feel scared from his own shadow.
He
feels what if the darkness within him comes out and shatters every dream, and
destroy him completely. What if the negativity that has recently surrounded him
will leave him with no friends and no one to love him? What if the shade he is
under will destroy him forever?
“I
have already lost my innocence long back,” he reflects. He is sitting with his leg
folded, his head aches. It feels as if it is going to burst, someone is
hammering it from inside. “I was once a happy kid,” he tells himself.
“Then
what happened?” he hears a voice coming from a distance. He gets up and checks
his balcony but there is no one. “It is in my head,” he says as he lay down on
his bed. He has left the door to balcony open for some air, it is suffocating
in here.
It
is past midnight now and another scary night awaits for him as sleep is a far-fetched
dream now. But why suddenly he has started feeling this way? Why his heart is
heavy all the time? Why his head aches? And there is so much of negativity. He switches
off the light as the characters of his book appears in his room.
This
is not the first time, he is seeing things so he is not surprised but he is
trying to deviate his mind by thinking about some other thing. But he is not
thinking about them either then why they are here every night.
“Because
we are here to remind you that you need to burst the bubble you are living in
and accept the reality,” says Rehan, sitting by the side of balcony.
“I
am not living in any bubble,” he says in his mind and distracts himself by
playing some music in his phone.
“You
are not going to be happy ever in your life. Since your childhood you have been
sad and you will be sad forever. Happiness is your illusion and if you don’t come
out of that illusion then you will destroy yourself and destroy everyone around
you,” Rehan says.
He
is feeling really weak and scared. He is trying to ignore what Rehan is saying
but it is in his head. He dials her number, it rings three times and no one
picks up. He dials her number again, it rings three times and no one picks up.
“Remember,
I tried plenty of times and no one picked my call either and that is why I am
like a grumpy soul which you will turn into too because I am the imagination of
your head. Somewhere, I reside within you,” Rehan smirks.
He
leaves few messages for her. And dials her number again. He wished if she was
here then he would never feel this scared. Because when she is around him, he
feels secured and safe in her arms. But she is asleep.
“There
is still some time, you can save yourself from sufferings,” Rehan says and
disappears.
His
heart is really heavy, he feels like crying. He keeps his phone aside and tries
to sleep. He close his eyes and he hears Arpita’s voice.
“Don’t
worry and don’t listen to Rehan. He is only trying to play with your mind. She is
sleeping that is why she is not picking up your call. Don’t worry and don’t think
about anything. I know you are not even thinking anything of that sort but don’t
listen to Rehan. You deserve to be happy and soon this will be over,” Arpita
says to him stroking his hair.
He
picks up his phone again and starts typing. He wants to tell her what is happening
with him. He is not angry with her. He is only missing her. He is worried about
his peace of mind. She was tired that’s why she fell asleep, and actually she
has no clue what is going on in his head.
“Yes.
She doesn’t know because you haven’t told her anything. You haven’t told her
clearly what is disturbing you and I understand why you haven’t told her. She is
already too occupied and you don’t want her to burden her. But tell her,”
Arpita says.
He
is typing everything that he is feeling and he is also hating himself for doing
this, because he is worried when she will wake up in the morning she will be
ambushed with so many messages and so many calls. And she will blame herself
for falling asleep and not being there with him.
“But
if you don’t tell her, you will die every day slowly and maybe Rehan will
succeed in playing with your mind,” Arpita says.
“But
I created both of you from my imagination. Then why you guys are trying to
overpower me? What wrong did I do?” He screams as a lone tear rolls down from
his eyes and there is no one around. He switches on the light and stand in the
balcony. His head is getting really heavy and he feels as if he is going mad.
“I
should sleep before I imagine more and go mad,” he says to himself and comes
back to his room. He tries to close his eyes and sleep but it is coming back
all over again. He picks up his phone and dials her number again. She isn’t picking
up. He keeps trying. He types down what he is feeling. But he is feeling really
sad, and cold and it feels as if he is going to suffer and he is never going to
be happy in his life. He feels everyone is going to leave him and he will left
alone, no one would like to talk to him and he is also afraid. If he continues
to see things and listen to what they have to say then one day the world is
going to label him as mad and everything he has made and earned would be gone
in a stroke of a single second.
“But
why I am feeling still so heavy after completing the saga?” he says.
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| Source: http://img05.deviantart.net/20cd/i/2013/338/b/5/drowning_by_kevron2001-d6wps8z.jpg |
