No Pain, No Gain…

It was midnight, and it had been three hours since I was lying here, staring blankly at the sky. The sky was clear and I could see many stars twinkling and they were twinkling brightly. The majestic sea brought its own music, to complete the emptiness of the night. The waves gently touched my feet and the sand seemed cold. It was the night which was especially crafted for me. I got up, sat up straight and light up a cigarette when I heard someone calling my name. I turned around to see who the hell it was but it was too dark and 

I couldn’t make out until he sat beside me. I recognized his voice,

“What the hell are you doing here so late???” said Aditya

“Nothing.”

There was an eerie silence everywhere. It was the sound of waves which we could hear everywhere. It was a place where I could be alone, and at that hour it seemed like a no man’s land.

“Still thinking about her?”

“Hmmm Hmmm…” and I took a long drag

As I exhaled the dense smoke it gave me a feeling of immense satisfaction. I started feeling content about everything, what all was happening around me had forced me to put a fake smile on my face lately.

“What was the best thing you liked about her?”

“Everything…” and I took another drag and passed it to him

I know nobody is perfect, everyone has some flaws but we have to accept them with that flaw if we truly love them. We must overlook their flaws. And it was true I love her unconditionally, so what if she had to take this decision of ending our relationship, I still love her madly. She did this because she was under family pressure and the best thing that she was honest.

“Do you think she still loves you…?”

“Yes she does. She loves me more than her own self and that’s why she parted away from me because she thought about my future first. She knew if something terrible happened then I won’t be able to concentrate on important part of my life. She loves me more than I do, she loves me unconditionally…”

It was a tough phase for me, time was testing us and we were sailing through it. It was a season which had no name; the motive was to live through. There is a famous saying, “No Pain No Gain…”

“So what are you going to do now?”

“Fulfill her dreams…”

Now the only thing that I wanted to do was fulfill my dream because it was her dream too. She wanted me to become a writer, more than myself she believed in me and she believed that I have that potential to turn this dream into reality. She was my strength and she was my inspiration, still she is. She is the only one who is always in the back of my head whenever I write about anything. And this was the only thing that I wanted to do. Fate has probably switched its side but I had a strong feeling that sooner or later it will come in my favour once I fulfill the dream that we saw together. Maybe this would sound foolish to many, but people who are in love or who have been in love would understand my situation.

I light up another cigarette.

“You are smoking a lot these days… you shouldn’t.”

I gave him a hard stare, he was right but I needed a companion and blue leaf was the only loyal companion I had. I took another drag and a tear rolled down my cheek. I got up, looked up at the sky and said,

“I still love you…” 

Few things are always complicated…

He was short tempered while she was easy going. He use to scold her, every time he was angry. And she was too scared to tell him anything. But now things has changed quite dramatically. She is turning into short tempered one and he is easy going now. And now he is too scared to tell her anything. It happened few nights before, when they were talking over phone as their normal days and something happened. The boy got angry and yet again he ended up scolding her for some reason. But this time, something happened that never happened before. She messaged him after disconnecting his call that gave him Goosebumps in the middle of night and his heart was in his mouth.

She said, “If you have so many issues with me then let me free. End this relation and live freely, the way you want.”

Tears trickled down his cheek while he thought, every time when he got pissed off and ended up scolding her he never brought this topic of ending their relation doesn’t matter how mad he was. And it was her who brought this topic. For him she is everything and so for her he is but the only thing that didn’t let him sleep through nights was, why she had to bring this topic? People who love each other are bound to fight someday but does that mean they should end their relation?

He kept on asking me. I had no answers. It was not his mistake nor was it her fault. There was a communication gap and that needed attention. But now he is too scared to state the condition of his heart to her because he thinks she might ask him to end their relationship yet again. I tried to console him and asked him if you can’t tell her on her face then text her, she will understand your state.

Life is unpredictable. You can’t take even a single thing for granted. You can’t expect your life to be always simple, complications is the other name of life and without them it’s way too dull and boring. These are the experiences that one gains.

Just remember:

“If there is night, there will be dawn…

This is life, which goes on…

And it always moves on…”

Mysterious Eyes…

"Those mysterious eyes,

That looked into mine.

It made my heart beat fast,

Like never before in the past.

The blink that said a lot,

I wondered what it was!

I wish, I could gaze them forever,

For a while, I thought it’s now or never.

But time never waits for anyone,

And so the departure came sooner.

I don’t know when we will meet again,

Coz there was something left unsaid.

I wish, I could read those eyes,

Which had so much to say.

Those were the mysterious eyes,

That always look into mine.

It made my heart beat fast,

Like never before in the past…"

That Kiss In The Rain!!

I was walking alone at night in a narrow lane of some unknown place, when all of a sudden out of nowhere it started raining. Instead of finding some shade for me, I continued to walk as every drops of the rain was reminding me of her. I was drenched completely, my clothes had not even an inch left which was not wet, sinus started playing its game with me and my head became heavy. I ignored the consequences which were to follow, in my own world I kept on walking, when I saw someone standing at a distance.  It was dark so I couldn’t figure out who it was; the figure said that there was some girl standing with an umbrella in her hand at the seashore. The figure seemed to be of some girl, I started walking towards her. When I reached where she was standing it started raining heavily. The wind started blowing strongly, she lost her grip and her umbrella went along with the wind. The thunderbolts made her body shiver; she turned back and hugged me tightly. I was feeling every beat of her heart, I could feel her every breath and with her every breath her heartbeat went even faster. I don’t know what happened but I felt her presence as if it was her who was there in my arms. I held her shoulder, moved her strand of hair which was hiding her beautiful face and then the sky fell on me and the world escaped from beneath. It was her, I couldn’t resist, I smiled at my own luck but at the same time questions started darting into my head. How come she is here? When she came to Chennai? And why she didn’t tell me that she was here?

We always dreamt of spending our best time at some beach but I never thought in my wildest of dreams that we would meet like this. She opened her eyes slowly and smiled at me which was totally genuine. I was totally dumbstruck with this surprise and couldn’t believe my fate which always played dirty games with me. But today he gave me a reason to smile and not to swear on my fate. There were so many things to say, so many questions to be asked but that moment I was lost in her beautiful pair of eyes which has a world of its own. She wore a pink color top with something written on it. Her clothes were also completely wet and were sticking to her body which made her a bit uncomfortable. I was totally lost in her; I didn’t even notice that the rain had stopped. She understood the gravity of the moment and locked her eyes with mine. She kept her finger on my lips and signaled me not to speak anything and ruin the moment that we were enjoying together.

I moved my hand and in one stroke I opened her hair, she was blushing and I noticed her face was turning into blood red. Finally after some time she broke the silence,

“I told you na that I am always there with you wherever you will go you will find me. You are never alone in this walk of life.” she whispered into my ears and bite it hard.

I jumped out with pain and she started laughing on seeing me jumping like a little kid.

“You are my baby, my sweet baby…” she said and again started laughing.

I couldn’t resist myself and joined in her laughter.

“I love you Pri…..” I said

She blushed again; she moved her hands and kept it around my neck. I held her waist and in one stroke I pulled her towards me.

“I love you too…” she whispered into my ears.

I looked into her beautiful eyes, outlined by kajal. They were happy eyes, sentimental eyes. I took both her hands in mine and brought her closer, and she surrendered herself to my arms. No one spoke, only the waves lent their music. I looked at the sky above; I thanked God. I looked at the majestic sea; the waves were almost kissing our feet. I looked at the beach there was no one there till eternity. Everything was just perfect, pure bliss. I could feel her breathing against my chest. Finally our dream had come true. If only we could stay there forever without speaking a word, our soul completely lost in each other. I felt something wet on my neck. I realized her a little and saw her eyes. A lone tear had trickled down her cheek. I brought my lips close to her cheek and kissed away the tear. The wind had gained the momentum and the waves were threatening to submerge our feet. I looked into her eyes; eyes that said so much. She closed them as I brought my lips close to hers and touched them gently. The wind, the waves. The sky, the night, had all ceased to exit.

And then my phone started ringing. I woke up with a jerk and realized that it was just another dream. But I felt good coz the dream seemed to be a reality, it brought a smile on my face. I took my phone and dialed her number. I had to tell her and tell her now about my dream.

“heylo…” said her baby-like voice in sleepy tone

Love Happens Like That...!!

People say love happens just like that. One question always keep darting in my head, when do we know that we are in love?  This question always use to keep playing with my patience until that day when I saw her.

It was not the first time when I saw her that day but something in her made me speechless and yes I think I was in love with her. It was a pleasant afternoon; I came out of my class and went to have my daily quota of cigarettes when all of a sudden it started raining. It always happens with me whenever I fag. I dropped the plan of smoking instead I was busy finding some shade for myself to save myself from this game of fate. I stood there for a while when I noticed that she was standing by my side, playing with her wet hair she was cursing god for making her wet. I noticed her carefully, the tiny droplets of rain rolled down her forehead meeting her eyelashes and slowly making the way down her cheeks. I never noticed anything so carefully before but there was something in her that made me notice her so gracefully. She finally noticed me and smiled. Her smile was so graceful which made me feel alive; I was intoxicated by her deep intense eyes. I felt a pang in my heart never felt like that before I was getting nervous and the sweat beads started appearing on my forehead. I felt numb for a while and didn’t know what to do when she asked me something. I didn’t hear it and I was at loss of words to answer her question which only she knew what it was. What was happening to me, she was my classmate from past one year hardly we use to talk and I never thought that standing by her side I will be at loss of words. I felt guilty for not replying to her question. She must have felt either I am a weirdo or I have gone mad. I would prefer the latter one though coz what I did next totally surprised her. I moved my hand and untied her wet hair in one stroke. She kept staring at me for a while when finally I opened my mouth. I had to for what I did there has to be some reason. I moved ahead and whispered in her ears, “You look good this way.” She smiled at me.

There was an eerie silence and again I was at loss of words. She understood the gravity of the moment and finally she was the one who started the conversation.

“How much time do we have before the next lecture starts?”

“I guess the lecture must have started by now.” I said looking at my watch and I jumped with happiness though I didn’t show her. Yes, I have got another 50 minutes to spend some time with her.

“Jesus I am gonna miss that for sure now. This rain looks like it’s not gonna stop so soon.” She said gesturing her hand in air.

“So what are we gonna do? Stand here whole day?” I said expecting that she would understand what was going through my mind.

“How about a cup of coffee, I am feeling cold.” She said reading my mind yet again.

I didn’t say a word; I held her hand and winked at her. She smiled at me and we started running towards the main road. The rain was getting even heavier. Oh god I love getting wet in the rain. We took an auto and asked the driver to drop us at the nearby CCD. The driver gave us a puzzled look, we looked at each other our eyes met and we busted into laughter. This was my day, I looked in the sky and thanked god for this moment. She looked gorgeous in her black dress which was totally drenched by the rain now. She was shivering and so was I, but we kept on laughing for I don’t know whatsoever reason. I paid the driver and asked him to keep the change. We started climbing the stairs and she slipped. I caught her hand and I pulled her closer to me. She kept on staring at me, our eyes met and she thanked me for saving her. After a while she moved away from me when she noticed many eyes were staring at us blankly. We moved inside and ordered coffee for us.

Sipping our coffee in silence I noticed her. She was so elegant, I cursed myself that why didn’t I notice her before. But I thanked god coz if I had noticed her before then we would never had this time together. She caught me staring at her and raised her eyebrow. I didn’t say anything I was again at loss of words here.

“Nice coffee huh?” she said breaking the silence yet again.

“Yes it’s good, maybe the coffee is really good or the weather has made it good.” I chuckled

She smiled again and I was lost in my own world of fantasy. We finished our coffee and she signaled me that it was our time to leave. The rain had stop. I wanted to ask her for a date. I wanted to grab this opportunity and give her a hint that I liked her. I paid the bill and we started walking back to our college. It was hardly five minutes walk from the coffee shop. Finally we reached our college and she excused herself as she wanted to use the washroom. I held her hand, pulled her close to me untied her hair and whispered in her ears, “Will you go out me this weekend?”

She moved away, blushed and just nodded her head. I stood there for a while when she went inside the washroom. I couldn’t believe my luck. That weekend we went for a movie, had lunch at the KFC, spend some time together, walking down the street holding our hand and enjoying the small moments of life which we knew would never come back again.

That rainy day took a new turn in my life and I thank god that it rained that day. Finally I got answers to my questions and I realized that yeah “Love do happens like that…!”

P.S - It's purely fiction...

The Best Dream of My Lyf That Faded Away....

Life is totally unpredictable and so is our fate. When you think that now it’s over then and there it slaps you and reminds you that it’s not over yet. Similar was my case because I took everything for granted but one day changed my life, just one day.

I never expected that things would change so dramatically between us but that day it did and changed my life forever. My girlfriend broke up with me or should I call her my ex girlfriend now. When I asked her the reason then she simply said, “It’s not working the way I want…”

I met her for the first time when I was in Hyderabad through a common friend. Our first encounter was kinda okayish. I never thought then that someday she will become so important for me. I told you before you can’t take even a single thing in your life for granted. Within a blink of eye things can change. I remember the day when I proposed her; she was blushing though she asked me to wait for a week or so. Soon weeks turned into months and months into year but her reply never came. It was taking on my nerves and so after waiting for one and half year I finally decided to move on. Maybe she treats me just as one of her friend. And so I decided to move ahead in my life…

Two days later I received one message from her that brought a 70mm smile on my face but at the same time I was in a dilemma. The message said, “hope u’ve nt moved on wanna talk…” The moment I read this message I jumped out of joy. Maybe it was my frustration or the happiness. I still don’t know what it was. I called her up at night and the same happened that I always wanted to happen. She finally said yes to me and yeah we were in relationship now.

One year passed by and things were going smoothly when one day she asked me something and I was speechless that very moment.

She asked me, “when r u cmin to meet me…?” and I couldn’t say anything to her then as I was not sure when I would be able to meet her. However I decided to visit Mumbai (that’s where she lives) even though I had to lie to my parents. Besides meeting her the other reason to visit Mumbai was her mom. On 17^th dec 2010 there was a pooja at her place as it was her dad’s first death anniversary and no one from her family was coming. So her mom asked me if I could be a part of it she would be happy. I didn’t give it a thought, next day I booked my tickets and I reached Mumbai on 17^th morning.

When I was boarding the train she ordered me to call her when I reach Dadar station and from there she would guide me how to reach her place. So I reached Dadar station around 4am. Instead of calling her I called up my sister (who’s our common friend) to guide me as I wanted to give her a nice surprise. My sister asked me to catch some local train, get down at the respective station, take an auto for the address that she gave me and call her then. I followed her instructions and I was standing in front of my girlfriend’s apartment. I called her up and told that I am waiting outside for you, she came downstairs running and when I saw her the earth stood still for a while. I spent the best ten days of my life with her almost 24*7 we were together.

Finally the day arrived when I had to leave. I was busy packing my stuffs when she came to me and asked, “Can v go for a walk?” I couldn’t say anything to her then I just nodded her and we went for a long walk. Before leaving she hugged me twice, I noticed there was tears in her eyes. I bade her goodbye with a flying kiss that her mom noticed and smiled. I promised her that I will come again as soon as I get a chance. I reached my home safely and spent the rest of my holidays at home. But then things were not the same, it started to change dramatically…

There use to be fights for no reason. She was busy when I needed her and when was there, her mood was not. This use to piss me even more and the argument use to get started which was followed by huge fights. Someone use to hang up the call every now and then. We were going through a rough patch and I wanted to resolve all our problems before Valentine’s Day. I couriered her a box of chocolates, a sweet card along with a love letter that I wrote for her. But unfortunately it didn’t reach her that day. After two days she finally got my courier and she was on cloud nine. She was happy and so I was but her exams were coming nearer. I had to stop calling her at night as she wanted to study. From 18^th feb to 9^th march I use to call her for hardly 5 mins or 10 mins.

Soon her exams got over and I was happy as now she would be able to talk to me properly but something else was written in our fate. Out of nowhere her brother came to visit her place and again I was not able to talk to her properly…

Again our fights had started, the same hanging up of call and we discovered a new thing within us and that was our ego. Ego was taking a toll on us and we were sailing through it.

It was just like another Sunday when I got another shock. She messaged me which said, “I knw m dng wrng wid u, but dis has no future.. Its gng nowhere nd I want 2 end it. I want 2 conc on my studies nd other parts of lyf. Dat is possible only wen v part away. I cnt take it anymore. Plz move on….”

I read this message and my hands were shivering. My heartbeat went faster and tears started rolling down my cheeks. I called her up but there was no response, I messaged her but her reply never came. Everything that I did for her and for our relationship started circulating in my head. Those moments we spent together, those sleepless nights when I use to skip my dinner so that I can recharge my phone and talk to her. The money that I saved to visit Mumbai. Those lies that I had to tell my parents because I wanted to meet her.

It took her few minutes to take such kind of decision and message me, but it will take my whole life to gulp it down my throat. I had to give up as I was helpless. I couldn’t do anything just kept staring at my fate. Sooner or later I will have to accept this bitter truth of my life. But one thing is sure that doesn’t matter if she comes back to me or not, nobody can ever take her place in my heart.

She wants me to move ahead in my life. Maybe she would be happy then. My fate has slapped me yet again and I am helpless. Life is so unpredictable. When you think that now everything is fine then this bloody fate always shows its true color.

The best of my life has faded away and I kept staring at my bloody fate…

“There’s one thing, you’ve got to learn,

Life’s full of twist’s n turns.

You’ve got to break rocks in the hot sun,

For the tides to turn.

If there’s night,

Then there has to be dawn.

O-O-O Life goes on……”

When I held your hand...

When I held your hand, the sun shined
Murky waters glistened, I was over joyed
Ectasy crept in, nothing else mattered,
Still remember the day, I was in tears.


]When I held your hand, our hearts came closer
In your mystifying eyes, I helplessly wandered
And as I danced to the tunes of Love,
There were moments I truely savoured.


When I held your hand I said a silent prayer,
That we would be together and together forever
You gave me a reason to smile
Enriched my life & made it worthwhile.


And as I still hold your hand
and walk over the golden sand
I make a promise, I'll hold your hand
and walk a thousand miles till the end.

Short Story [PART I]

It has been quite a while and i didn’t receive any call from her. I was getting irritated now. She was supposed to arrive an hour ago but there was no sign of her. I tried her number it said switched off. Her mum has called me at least twenty times and this was making me more pissed off. It was anything then my phone rang, i tell you one thing the moment my phone rang my heart started beating faster. I took my phone out and it was her call. It said “lavanya calling” and i let out a sigh of relief.

“Hey where have you been?” i roared

“I am about to reach. Where are you? Are you there at the station to pick me up?” she said

“Yes i am.” I said and disconnected the call.

I was still at my place and she was about to reach. She is gonna kill me now. I jumped off my bed, took my wallet, and rushed downstairs where i found my cousin Ayush and Piyush sipping something.

“Where were you asshole?” said Ayush

“Nowhere. I am going to station; lavanya is coming, so in front of her behave like gentlemen.” I said

“No need, bhaiya is off to station already to receive her with chote papa (my dad).” Said Piyush.

“What? How come they got to know about her arrival?” I said

“I don't know. But Pranay bhaiya said he’s going to receive some of your friend who is coming alone from Mumbai.” Piyush said

I didn’t replied and i moved out. I was still in a state of shock; nobody knew anything about her arrival then how come they got to know.

Lavanya was my friend and she was coming to my hometown to meet me all the way from Mumbai. I won’t fake you here; she was the love of my life. She knew everything about my feelings but she was not ready for any relationship yet. So we were very good friends for now. She was the only one who stood beside me in my hard times and was always there with me in my happy times. I was in love with her from past 16 months and i was ready to wait for her for the rest of my life. She always use to say that i am mad. It was quiet true, i was mad in her love.

Pranay bhaiya, Piyush and Ayush were my cousins who were at my place for few days. Even my elder brother Mrinal was there but at that moment he was not at home. Everything was fine but one thing, which was eating me, was how come Pranay bhaiya and my dad got to know about lavanya? Let her come i won’t talk to her. I went upstairs and entered into my room i got a call from Pranay bhaiya.

“Hey where the hell are you?” he said

“At home. Where are you?” i said

“Lavanya is with us and we are coming in few minutes.” He said

I was least interested about her now. She didn’t even bother to tell me anything. Let her come i won’t talk to her. I sat on my bed when i heard some noise downstairs. Finally, she has arrived and everyone was damn excited to see her. After a while Pranay bhaiya came to my room,

“Hey she is waiting downstairs for you and you are sitting here? What’s the matter with you now?” he said

“Tell her i am not interested in meeting her. How come you got to know about her arrival? I thought i would go and receive her.” I said and he understood why on earth i was so pissed off.

“Oh so that’s why you are so pissed off. Actually when you were enjoying your nice nap she called, you were in your deepest of slumbers so i didn’t bother to wake you up. I received her call and she told me everything about her arrival. I conveyed the same to chote papa (my dad) and he asked me to come along with him to the Railway station. That's it it’s not her mistake. So for god’s sake now, go and meet her. And get ready we are getting late for that show.” He said

“Yes sure” i said and rushed downstairs.

When I reached downstairs, i found no one there except Piyush and Ayush. I searched the rooms but no one was there. Suddenly my phone started ringing; it was my elder brother Mrinal on the other side.

“Yes” i said

“Hey i am sorry.” He replied

“Sorry?  But why?”

“Actually we were getting late for that show so mum asked lavanya to get ready and we all are on our way to that show. I know you wanted to spend some time with her so i am sorry for that i couldn’t argue with mum then.” He said

“Whatever” i said and disconnected the call

Now i had a reason to be pissed off. But before anything else, i wanted to meet her. I wanted to meet her and i just wanted to meet her. That's it. So along with my cousins i went to some place for someone’s musical show or some crap like that. We reached after an hour there and i found it hard to believe my eyes for what i saw next. The moment I stepped outside the car, i saw one huge building with no elevator and the only way was the staircase, which looked like a million stairs. I looked at my cousins and they were pretending as if they knew that place since their birth. The show was going on the top floor. We started climbing stairs and after a while, i was panting like a dog. After all the eee’s and ooh’s i managed to reach the top floor. But fate had something else in store for me. When we reached the top floor, we got to know that the show was going on in the ground floor. God was testing my patience and i decided to be calm out there. Without giving it another thought, i rushed downstairs as i was getting irresistible to meet lavanya.

Finally, we reached the hall where the show was going on only to find it was over as we were busy climbing stairs. I hardly cared about the damn show all i was worried about was lavanya. I was afraid that she might have left with mum and my elder bro but fortunately, they were still there as i saw my mum there. I stepped inside that hall and as I was walking past a group of people, i heard someone calling out my name. I turned back and couldn’t believe my eyes, it was SRK. My god Mr. Shah Rukh Khan was calling me. I stood there numbed when he came and hugged me. I didn’t say a word there I was too numbed to do that. All i wanted to do was meet lavanya that's it and in front of her, nothing seemed to have a meaning. So i asked Mr. SRK to wait as i have to meet someone and he understood what i was talking about. Even he has fallen in love with someone at some point in his life. People go crazy to meet these celebrity stars, no one gets this chance again in their life, but i refused it coz it didn’t seem to have a meaning in front of her. Nothing seemed to bother me when she was there with me. We spent countless hours on phone calls, sleepless nights in texting one another yet we use to miss each other like anything. But the thing was it was one-sided traffic, she didn’t have such feelings for me. She loved me as her best friend, the best thing in her was, knowing the fact that how much I care for her, how much I love her even though she didn’t reciprocated the same feelings, she had respect for my feelings.

So coming back to the story I had just refused SRK to meet coz I wanted to meet her. I saw my mum and went straight to her. And to disappoint you again I couldn’t meet her there. She was in the washroom and while I waited for her to come out someone told me she already left with my family. I was too tired to think about any other possibilities so I took an auto and made my way back to my place. I reached my place and rushed inside. I didn’t ask anybody about her as I was afraid she might again disappear with my mum or who knows maybe with my dad or cousin or oh god what has happened to me. Am I making sense? 

TO BE CONTINUED...........