The Seekers of Selfdom - Part II

The dark forest near the lake was only half a mile from the city. Marc took his bag and started walking towards the city. He felt thankful for the cool breeze that has sober down the climate.

The street was a bustling market, oddly enough a lot of people were out in the afternoon. Marc made his way through the pool of people and tried to inquire about the castle. However, all he received in return were blank looks.

He realised things have not been going well in the city and people were somehow scared with foreign visitors. “There must have been something. There is a story behind their looks. I need to find out,” he said to himself as he bumped into a small girl.

“I am sorry I didn’t see you,” said the small girl and got on her knees to pick her collection of stones.

“Wow, these stones are beautiful. Where did you find them?” Marc said as he got down on his knees and started checking out the stones.

“There are a lot near the lake but I don’t get to go there. Princess Tamina gave me these,” the girl said.

“What is your name?” Marc asked the girl.

“My name is Helena,” she said and extended her hand. Marc shook her hand and asked her again, 

“Who is Princess Tamina?”

“Are you new here? Everyone knows about her. She is the bravest girl of our city, the daughter of King Atanu,” Helena said.

“Yes, I am new here. Can you tell me the way that leads to the castle?” Marc asked her but suddenly he was pushed aside by a strong man.

“Helena, go home now,” the strong man said and looked at Marc. Marc got up from the ground, dusting himself he said, “Why everyone keeps pushing people here?”

“Who are you? And why were you inquiring Helena about King Atanu?” the strong man asked him.

“I am a traveller and I have come here to meet the King. But no one is telling me the way to the castle. Can you help me?” he asked the strong man.

“Go back from where you have come. There is no place for foreigners here. You leave else I will call the army,” he said holding Marc’s collar. A small crowd has gathered around Marc and he knew if he did anything foolish he will be thrashed by the crowd. The crowd looked angry. But then a thought flashed in his mind and he punched the strong man in his face.

The crowd went mad and Marc started running for his life.

“Get him,” the strong man screamed and a dozen of people were running behind Marc. He kept running making way through the pool of people and suddenly he was beaten down to the ground.

The crowd held him tightly as the strong man approached Marc. “How dare you hit me? That too in my face. You will pay the price for it now,” the strong man said and he was about to punch Marc when a girl’s voice echoed through the crowd.

The crowd suddenly went quiet and bowed down to their Princess Tamina. There she was, riding on a horse, with her sword in hand she ordered her guards to get Marc.

The guards handcuffed Marc as Tamina ordered them to follow her to the castle. The crowd cheered as they thought the foreigner will be executed.

“What they are so happy about?” Marc asked Tamina in a high pitch tone.

“They are celebrating your execution,” Tamina smirked at him.

“Are you going to kill me?” he asked her.

“Not me but my father will surely,” she said.

“But I get to explain myself at least,” Marc asked again, he was getting nervous and anxious now.

Tamina gave him a hard look as they entered the castle. “Take him to father,” Tamina ordered the guards as they obliged to her.

“Give me one chance to explain first,” Marc kept repeating. Tamina stood there listening to the foreigner’s voice until it stopped. He was inside the castle.

Tamina picked up his bag and opened it. It had a few books, a map, a few apples and a handwritten note. Her eyes caught the attention of the handwritten note. She unfolded it and started reading.

“This world is not a bed of roses but a path full of thorns. I am here to walk over those thorns, without screaming a bit about the pain that it will give me. The world is about battles and heroes but no place for travellers and writers.

I am not welcomed anywhere and people look at me with suspicion. When this will get over when the sun will shine and put an end to the pain that this world is going through. When love will overpower greed and paralyse the lust for power.

With every day passing by, I am growing weak but my eyes are still searching for those pair of eyes that ignites the fire within me. I shall travel north and south, to the east and west until my search for my one is over.

And when she will be there in front of me, I will allow our heart to do the talking. I will only sit by her side, take her hand into mine and ask her to become mine forever.

While they say nothing lasts forever, I want to prove all of them wrong. I want to show them that love cannot be defeated and I will keep trying until my last breath.

Let us walk again and wander into the unknown in search for those pair of eyes who look at me with care and affection and not suspicion. And when that happens, I will know that I have found the person with whom I will rewrite the story of this cruel world, so the generations to come, will remember us and keep love alive.”

By Marc Rhinhart

She read the note again, she could feel the words scribbled on it. She could feel the pain of the man she had just summoned in front of her father. Her eyes were moist and she didn’t know why.

Source: http://michail.at/images/20111221231121_the%20dog%20and%20the%20loneliness.jpg

The Seekers of Selfdom - Part I

The sky is clear, a cool breeze has toned-down the scorching heat; forcing the people to take a stroll around the busy street of Atanu, a small kingdom in the north named after its king. While the meaning of this kingdom is divine, things have not been going too good for its people.

It is those times, where one king would go to any extent to overpower the other. Atanu was, however, a different type of ruler. He believed in kindness and he was happy ruling his own kingdom. He never asked for more and never had he ordered his army to overpower the adjoining kingdoms.

But the world out there was not very kind. Going by the impression of the man Atanu was, many rulers tried to strike a deal with him. He, however, declined to collaborate with any one of them and requested them to leave his kingdom in peace.

The rulers were adamant and wanted to dethrone Atanu and take over his kingdom. The geographical location had everything to do with it, located at the northern valley, it was one of the safest kingdoms.

The altitude helped the night watchers to keep an eye on their enemies. There was a mix of agriculture and trading on which the people survived. Atanu being the kind of person he was, he always helped his people and at times he would not collect tax if someone couldn’t afford it at that point of time.

This sometimes earned him the respect but criticism among the other rulers as a new wave was spreading across other kingdoms, where the people would request to waive off their taxes because they heard what Atanu did for his kingdom.

He only had one weakness, his daughter Tamina, who was one of the fierce warriors of her kingdom but Atanu always tried to protect her and never allowed her to fight in any battle. She would sometimes go mad and at times she would adore her father, who was always trying to protect her from the world.

But she was brave enough to lead her own battle and she always looked for a chance to show her skills in a battlefield. Atanu was aware of this very fact, he has seen his daughter training and felt proud that she could beat even the best of the men of his army. But he was afraid of losing her, he was afraid what if the rulers take advantage of his daughter. He was afraid if he allowed her to fight, the battle would change her completely.

Tamina had a very few friends, all the girls of her age were either married or were about to; she had no intentions of getting married and she wanted to carry the legacy of her father and keep the people of her kingdom safe.

While growing up at a very young age she understood how this world worked. She had her own battles deep within and all she wanted was to showcase her father the skills that she has inculcated in her over a period of time.

For a young girl of her age, growing up was a pain. Every now and then she had to dodge the same question of getting married to some ruler’s son. A lot of them who called themselves prince of their kingdom even tried to ask for her hand but in turn, she would ask them to defeat her in combat and then she would happily marry them.

But the request was often turned down. For the so-called prince, fighting a girl was a major issue and if by any chance getting defeated by a girl would surely put an end to their lives.

This is a story about Tamina, a fierce warrior of the 14^th century who meets Marc, a traveller and how their life changes.   

Like a crazy head she would roam around the city, carrying her beautiful smile she would often almost kill people. Like a humble being, she would always help people around her but sulk alone most often.

She is like everything in one and one in everything. You know she is fierce and a brave heart. The knight in the shining armour. She would always lead the struggle of her life. Challenges had made her so strong, people around her couldn't understand the complexity of her head.

Deep within, she always wished for her own prince. She was tired of the so-called princes around her and felt they were so naïve. She was waiting for someone who would try to make peace with the chaos in her head. Someone who would love her for the way she is and someone who would make her feel lively and happy again.

Tamina was sitting near the window of her room, combing her hair still lost in the sea of thoughts in her head. Watching outside the window, she always longed for love, someone who would try and make her happy. Someone who is equally as crazy as she is and humble at the same time.

Her loneliness has left her in a different state, she is longing for someone who will bring her back in that romantic mode but not evade the real world also.

Tamina would always take some time off and spend her time near a lake. The lake was surrounded by a dark forest and she would never take any guards with her. Though her father always tried to keep an eye on her through one of his men, she would always evade from the eyes of her father’s minions.

She knew she was capable of taking care of herself. She understood her father’s fear but she would always insist to allow her to spend some time alone in the woods.

Tamina reached the lake and tied her horse to a tree. She took her sword with her and sat down near the lake. She closed her eyes and absorbed the chirping of birds, the cool breeze, the sound of leaves and the echoes in the mountain.

It always gave her the peace her mind needed. She was sitting holding grass in her hand when suddenly her eyes spotted someone. She hid behind the trees immediately and took out her sword. She peeked through one corner and saw a man washing his face at a distance near the lake.

She has never seen him. He carried a small bag but no sword. He was alone and his clothes seemed quite dirty. She moved through the other side of the lake and keeping herself low, she made her way towards him.

She was sure he hasn’t noticed her yet. She walked a few steps and grabbed his neck from behind with her left hand and put her sword at his chest with her right hand and said, “Who are you? I have never seen you here before.”

The man was cautious and scared. He dropped his bag and said, “Because this is the first time I am visiting your city. I mean no harm.”

“Who are you?” she asked him again.

“Only if you leave me, I will tell you,” he said.

Tamina put her sword down and released him from her clutches. The man fell on the ground coughing, holding his neck he let out a sigh of relief.

“Is this the way you treat your guests here?” the man said, still coughing.

Tamina extended her hand, as he took it and got up on his legs.

“My name is Marc. I am a traveller and I wanted to meet King Atanu. I have heard so much about him. I was really tired so I thought I would freshen up a bit before you grabbed my neck. You have a strong grip,” he said.

“Why you wish to meet him?” Tamina inquired, still not sure about the man.

“I have heard so much about him and I would like to meet him in person. A fan, you can say,” Marc said with a big grin on his face.

“Why should we trust you?” she asked him again.

“You don’t have to trust me. You can just summon me in front of your king and I will take care of the rest. Look I don’t even have a knife to kill anyone. I can hardly kill an insect. I travel and I write. I would like to write about King Atanu,” he said looking into Tamina’s eyes.

She looked into his eyes and she knew he was telling the truth. His eyes seemed truthful but what if she is making a mistake, still kept darting in her head.

“I am sorry, you cannot meet the King. You should return back,” Tamina said as she took her horse and went back to the castle.

Marc stood there watching her, realising he has never been manhandled by a woman, by such beauty and he never thought a beautiful lady like her can have such a strong grip. His neck was still hurting.

“I shall try again,” he said with a smirk and made his way towards the castle.

To be continued...

Source: http://vickirby.com/fishart/fish_stuff/uploads/2012/10/VY6Y1860.jpg

Through the tough times, keep smiling...

I am writing this for you, for all those who are at a juncture where suddenly the road ahead seems blurry, where suddenly you are feeling choked and you feel you might break down at any given point of time.

I am not writing this to inspire you, I don’t know whether I can inspire you or not. But I am compelled to write this because when I see you getting distorted by life and its insecurities, it saddens my soul. The question must be here why?

A few years ago, I decided to change the flow of my own life and since then I have been working on it, still waiting for that one moment when I will feel that I have reached closer to it. It hasn’t happened yet, I don’t know when it will happen but I know one thing that how much ever time it takes I am not going to stop fighting.

I am not going to stop fighting the demons that surround me every time I am left alone in the vicinity of myself. I am not going to stop believing in myself and that no matter what the world tells me, what the society feel about me, I am never going to stop believing in myself.

It is easy to put faith in people whom you idolise but every time we forget that we need to believe in ourselves first.

Today, when I see people whom I love the most falling apart, feeling as if it is the end of the world and getting carried away by these negative emotions, I feel terrible. Not only because I love them, but because I feel as if a part of me, is losing. Losing the battle I started for changing things in my life because I didn’t like it.  

To all of you, who are reading and who are at the same juncture where you want to do what you want to but you are not able to muster up the courage to confront it or you have already taken the step but are now afraid of losing. This is for you all.

It is good to be scared, you may ask why? Because if you are scared you have given a thought to your life. You have analysed its flow and you are scared what if you don’t make it where you want to see yourself. And it is natural to be scared. And it is good to be scared.

But don’t let this fear overpower you. Don’t let this fear drive you to a point where you leave everything behind and everyone behind. When this feeling dawns upon us, we are so scared that we start getting beaten up by our insecurities every day. We started feeling that maybe we will lose, we won’t win and we keep disturbing ourselves by asking the same question over and over again.

Yes. There is this fear which always surrounds us and tries to feel terrible. But don’t let the fear drive you, instead you need to drive this fear and push it to the corner of your head. 

Forgetting about it is not happening here and you cannot take it out of your head definitely. But push it to the corner of your head. Because this is only a glitch that has come in your universe, because you have decided to change the flow of your life. It is natural that your decision will be followed by a glitch and now it is trying to mess with your head. It is trying to make you believe that you will not succeed and you will have to settle down for something you don’t want.

But believe me, this is nothing but only a glitch to test your will, to harass your mind and to distract you from reaching where you have just headed for.

There comes a time, when you start feeling that this very phase of your life is unexplainable to others. You cannot explain what you are going through and nobody tries to understand you. It happens. We can’t help it. Why people cannot understand I don’t know but not everyone are like that.

There is a bunch of people, who knows you are messed up in your head and they are only trying to help you to make peace with your brain. They do not offer help because they feel you are not capable of handling on your own, but because they really love you and they are only trying to do anything they can in their own capacity.

When we are at a juncture where life seems clueless and road ahead seems blurry, we start filtering people from our life. Actually there is no need of it. When you begin your own journey, where you do what you wish to, people who don’t like it will automatically vanish from your life. Especially when you are a difficult point, they will automatically pack their bags and leave. Because they don’t want trouble. They were there to enjoy the good times and it is not in their capacity to stay by your side during those difficult times that life gives you.

But there always be a few people who will always be there for you. A fewer will also go to an extent of walking over the flames for you. For the same reason that they want you to do great in life and they want to see you shinning like a sun and if it takes them to walk over a sea of flames they would happily do that.

Losing and winning is two sides of life like a coin, we all know this but we always want to win. It is great to win, yes, but there are times when you might lose. When that happens, cry your heart out because it hurts, but get up and keep trying. No one is stopping you from trying and believe yourself you will win.

Don’t give up on your life, don’t give up on the people around you and don’t give up on your decisions. I don’t know whether you will succeed or not. No one knows. We just know what we have to do today, we don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. So why break our head thinking about the possibilities instead why not work for today and see how it goes.

There is no point of feeling low thinking about something you don’t even know what it is about. Life is a battle where we all fight. People say no one stays with you, you are alone and no one will stay with you.

I don’t agree to this at all. Yes, true life is a battlefield where you sometimes win and sometimes you lose. You learn something every time though. And people will stay with you only if you are willing to let them. Because people who want to leave have left already, but there are a few who want to stay till the end and they want to hold you tightly when you are done fighting your own battle. While you are fighting your own battle, even they are fighting their own battle and that is why they connect with you, because they can feel the same pain and they are wandering around for some love and companionship.

What we have gone through in our past has moulded us in a way we are today. And yes we are strong at the same time, we are vulnerable and most of the time we are scared of not facing the same situation again in life that made us the way we are today. We are scared of the bad things that happened in our past. We are scared what if they get repeated.

I don’t know whether it will get repeated or not. I don’t know the future. But it is more like not willing to walk on road because we are scared what if a car hits you while you were only trying to walk. And what if when that car hits you, your life gets over.

Yes, we have faced complexities in our past. In some or the other way, it has been embedded in us but till when you will keep running away from something only because you are scared what it will do to you.

Maybe it will go the way you wish to deep within, maybe it won’t. But running away will never give you the answer and maybe you will lose something because you were too scared to make it yours. It will keep waiting for you however, until it can breathe but if you leave it because of your fear; if you never welcome it back in your life because of your life; it will die waiting.

Life is not easy and why it should be. We get it only once, and we have so many things to do. It comes with a price. But keeping everything aside, don’t stop believing in yourself. Don’t stop doing what you are going to do only because you are scared about the possibilities. Just know this is what you want to do and you don’t have any other option but to do well because this is your life which you have got only once. 

“Sichata Hai Yahaan Jo Bagiya Ko, Wahi Phool Bhi Paave,

Raahi Ka Toh Kaam Hai Chalaatahi Jaave…

Ghume Kabse Dagar Dagar, Tu Mann Ko Yeh Samajhaave

Raahi Ka Toh Kaam Hai Chalataahi Jaave…”

Source: http://kingofwallpapers.com/inspiring/inspiring-001.jpg

Tug of War...

"73.5%? Seriously? This is how you're going to intrigue your future? Your career? Look at the 12th Board mark sheet. That 93.5% is ashamed of you! Look at yourself! How flawed and maimed you have become... What that busty social monster has done to you!"

My heart compelled my eyes to immerse itself in the salty secretion of lachrymal gland. Those words of my inner voice constantly echoed and pricked my heart's papillary muscles and I couldn't hold back those 'tears' anymore.

That one drop slowly rolled down my cheek, captivated in the gloominess and despair. "You're right..." I blurted out finally.

"Of course I am. I always was but only if you did listen. Even Success and Confidence have left us. Tell me, being social really helped? Trying to be an extrovert which you can never be? Going out for a series of movies and ignoring your responsibilities towards studies?

“Instead of nourishing your talents, you spend hours at trying to socialise with people... Did it help?"

Salty tears now overflowed, shooed away the last trace of hope and embraced forlornness and desolation. Heart felt too weak to speak on my favour. Brain joined the chiding session...

"And yes, you even fell in that stupid love. I warned you repeatedly, but do you even bother? You broke our precious heart. Look at it, it is still trying to heal itself, hiding its wounds from the world. My grey matter is tired of being nostalgic of those memories of that fake boy.

“Stop being emotionally overdramatic, will you? When will you grow up? Bring Determination and Success back in your life. Romantics or social bastard isn't going to fetch you anything. Stop brooding over them and work for the love of career. Fight for your passion. Nurture your talents. Grow up girl."

'GROW UP GIRL'. Yes. I will. I promise. I hereby stop bothering about this fake world and for once and all, I will start living for myself again. She said to herself as tears made their way down her cheek but she didn’t care to wipe it.

- Anonymous 

Source: https://w-dog.net/wallpaper/my-loneliness-girl-silhouette-night-moon/id/347089/