The Seekers of Selfdom - Part VI

The next morning seemed beautiful for Tamina. She has been feeling low lately and often she felt like a hot iron rod was piercing through her heart. But after reading the letter that Marc had left for her, she had found a new source of energy. She slept holding the letter in her hand at night and when she woke up, she re-read the letter.

Tamina wanted to meet Queen Satyaki, her childhood idol. But she had no clue how she will be able to meet the queen.

“How I am supposed to meet the queen?” Tamina asked Chandrima.

“We don’t get to meet the queen. We are small people,” Chandrima replied.

“But I have to meet her. I have travelled here only to meet her,” Tamina said more to herself than to Chandrima.

“Every afternoon, there is a session with the people. You can join the crowd and hope for the best,” said Chandrima.

Tamina knew if she would only reveal her real identity then queen would never say no to her but revealing her identity means going back to her palace, which she never wanted. She decided to reach Queen’s palace and try before she heads further in search of Marc.

She took bath and changed her clothes, the one Chandrima gave her. She took her sword, covered her face and walked towards the palace. Memories of her past started circulating in her head. Why meeting Satyaki was important for her? It was the only question that kept popping into her head.

She had learnt to fight after she had faced certain things in her childhood. She knew no one will be able to protect her all the time at a very young age and that is when she decided to undergo a training.

No one except her mother knows that when she was 12 year old, she had killed a person, who tried to take advantage of her. That was the first time, she held a sword in her hand and pierced it through the chest of the man, who tried to force him upon her.

It was during summer, about 10 years ago when Tamina was playing in the garden of her palace one fine evening. A man named Vyas, who was a distant relative of Atanu had come to visit them.

Vyas joined Tamina in the garden and asked her to show him what she has learnt from her teachers. 

He asked her to dance while he sat in one corner far away from the eyes of anyone. While Tamina was engrossed in dancing, Vyas came closer to her and forced himself upon her. Tamina was really scared and she started screaming but Vyas held her mouth with his hand and took her behind the tree. He slapped her twice and threatened her if she ever opens her mouth, he will kill her parents and her.

Tamina was shivering with fear and all she remembers is how next moment, she pushed away Vyas and took out his sword and without giving it a thought she pierced it through his chest. Tamina stood there for a while watching Vyas die and she felt good.

She locked herself in her room for days, she wouldn’t come out. She was guilty of killing someone and that day was the day when she was not the innocent Tamina anymore. That one incident had changed her completely. That was the day when she decided to learn how to fight.

Months passed by but Tamina still used to spend most of her time in her room. Her mother tried asking her several times but she wouldn’t say a word and always stare blankly outside her window. 

However, one night when Tamina was asleep, her mother Molly came inside her room. She sat down beside her daughter and stroked her hair with her hand. A lone tear trickled down from her cheek, thinking what has gone wrong with her daughter.

Tamina was asleep but she had been having nightmares about that evening. And she woke up with a jerk screaming. Her mother was taken aback and she hugged her daughter.

“I am here my child. I am here,” Molly said and started rubbing Tamina’s back.

Tamina couldn’t hold on to her thoughts anymore and she broke down in front of her mother and she told her everything that happened that day. Molly was shattered. She didn’t know how to react to this and she felt guilty for letting her guards down and her daughter had to face such situation.

Since that day, Molly never stopped Tamina when she wanted to learn how to fight. Molly knew that the only way to douse the fire sometimes is to let the fire grow. She hoped that one day, Tamina will be able to douse the fire within her and she will be fine.

It was a week later, when Tamina was being supervised by the chief of her father’s army, who trained her, when she learnt about Satyaki. Her trainer told her a story about Satyaki and how she freed her kingdom form the clutches of other rulers by leading in the battle and that’s how the kingdom was named after her. Tamina was moved by the story and all she wished since that day was to meet Satyaki.

Tamina reached the palace, the guards stopped her. “You cannot go inside. Who are you?” said one guard.

“My name is Tanna and I am a traveller. I am here to meet the queen,” Tamina said.

The guards looked at her and started laughing. They started cracking jokes on her. “This is not your home that whenever you wish you can come. This is Queen’s palace and we cannot let anyone in without permission,” said the guard and continued, “Please leave.”

“I want to meet the queen. Convey my message to her, I will wait here,” she replied. Tamina was a princess and though she was not in her real attire, she carried the authoritative tone.

Guards felt insulted that how can a stranger talk in such tone with them. They started making fun of her even more and that was when Tamina lost her cool. She took out her sword and kept it around the throat of one of the guard and said, “If I want, I can slash your throat right here and no one will be able to do anything. Learn how to talk with people first.”

A crowd had gathered around her, she sobered down and took her sword down. Meanwhile, one of the minister Chitraksh had come out to see what the chaos was all about.

“What is going on here?” Chitraksh asked the guards.

 “My lord, this crazy girl wants to meet the Queen and when we told her to leave she took out her sword and threatened to kill us,” said the guard.

“He is lying,” Tamina said in a high tone.

“See, the way she is talking in front of you,” said the guard. Chitraksh asked the guards to be quiet and do their work. He walked towards Tamina and asked her, “Who are you?”

“I am a traveller. My name is Tanna and I want to meet the queen. I have waited ten years for this day and I have travelled a long way to come here. I mean no harm, I only want to seek her blessings. I learnt how to fight after I heard how she freed this kingdom from the clutches of other rulers and how this kingdom was named after her. Please take me to her,” she said.

Chitraksh looked into her eyes and he understood her desperation. “I will try but I cannot promise. You wait here,” he said and went inside the palace.

Tamina gave the guards a disgusted look and showed her swords to them. She smirked at the one who was constantly making her fun and signalled him to step back else she was going to swing her sword and slash his head.

While she was waiting, Tamina reflected on what just happened. She never thought she had so much of aggression suppressed deep within and she was surprised how it all came out. The way she behaved with the guards, she has never done that. “To survive, I must do everything in my capacity,” she said to herself.

Before Marc happened, Tamina was in love with Aksh. Aksh was a foreigner, who had come to visit their palace for some work two years ago. Tamina had no clue he was a mere puppet in hands of other rulers and he was here only to win Atanu’s confidence so he knows secret ways to the palace and other things that those rulers wanted to know.

He came across as a sober person, while people asked Tamina not to trust a foreigner but she did. She put her faith in him after she started spending time with him regularly. Back then, Tamina used to write regularly and every evening near the lakeside she would sit with Aksh and make him read what she wrote.

Aksh always treated her like a queen, and she was pleased that someone could pamper her so much. But she never understood the indications. Now whenever she thinks about those times, she knows what the intention behind his behaviour was but back then she was naïve and she was in love.

She believed that love holds a power that can change the world. She was so much in love with Aksh that she used to tell him a few secrets of her kingdom that Atanu never did. She never thought such situation will ever arise when Aksh will take advantage of her. She wanted to marry him and she allowed Aksh to touch her soul.

But three months later, Aksh had to leave for some work to distant land. He promised Tamina that he would come back for her and ask Atanu for her hand. Tamina was delighted and she agreed that she will wait for him. But Aksh never returned alone. What followed was a troop of army led by Aksh and his alliances to dethrone Atanu.

She remembers that night very clearly. She was sitting in her room, it was during the middle of night when she heard a commotion. She put on the armour and her sword and rushed downstairs to see what was happening. She was told that they have been attacked and a troop of army is marching towards their palace.

A voice brought her into reality. It was Chitraksh. “I have arranged a meeting with the queen and I don’t know why I am doing this but maybe meeting the queen is part of your dream and I don’t feel like disappointing our guests. Please come along,” he said and signalled her to walk after him.

The guards mouth was left wide open as Tamina shrugged her shoulders and smirked at them showing her sword to each one of them, she walked inside the palace.

Source: http://cdn.playbuzz.com/cdn/bc42e161-6a63-4f65-9696-b5d6af876091/69b1f7fd-0cc9-4092-8cc4-eec1eba6d24f.jpg