72 hours of my life, which I will never forget...

Never before in my life, had I felt so miserable and helpless. These 72 hours of my life were the most scary, torturous and violent hours of my life. It started from 26^th august 2013 when I was down with fever. I thought it’s just the normal seasonal fever which will get better with time. I took medicines and decided to take rest the whole day. But instead of getting better my condition was degrading. I had severe headache with body ache and high fever. Even after gulping down paracetamol tablets nothing happened. And as evening progressed I started shivering with cold. I was shocked to see myself shivering with cold in the hot and humid climate of Chennai. And with all this loss of appetite was the only thing left out. Somehow I managed to eat something but that something was very little, almost negligible. I had a slice of bread and a glass of glucose. I couldn’t eat anything more. My stomach was not ready to accept anything more than that. I took my medicine and tried to sleep but in vain. Sleep was nowhere in sight. My head was aching too much and I started sweating like a pig in a short while. Few minutes ago I was shivering with cold and now I was sweating. I was way too clueless about what was happening to me. Till 4:00am I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake and after a while somehow I managed to get some sleep. I woke up at around 7:30am my body was boiling with high temperature and I was sweating again. My t-shirt was drenched in my sweat. I brushed my teeth, had four biscuits with a glass of glucose. I took my medicines and went straight to my bed. I was feeling very weak due to not eating anything substantial in past 24 hours. I started feeling cold again. I tried sleeping but the body ache and shivering didn’t help much. And so I was lying on my bed from morning till evening in search of sleep which I didn’t get. But I was not in the condition to do anything else also. My weakness was increasing as time was passing by. I thought of visiting a doctor but then I thought I should wait for a day or two. In evening I got up from my bed and decided to go for a walk. But the moment I got up from my bed my head felt heavy and I almost fell down on my bed again. And after that I couldn’t muster up any courage to go out. I was lying on my bed like one lifeless soul. I tried eating something for my dinner but in vain. I couldn’t swallow anything. Four biscuits or two slices of bread was all that I use to have for my breakfast, lunch and dinner. And staying alone wasn’t helping either when it came to food. I was not in a condition to cook anything for myself and my brother did what he could. I took my medicines and again went back to sleep. I couldn’t sleep again till 4:00am in the morning, and after a while I slept for three hours. And at around 7:00am I woke up again. I was feeling hungry. I got up went straight into the kitchen and pour myself a glass of glucose. As I gulped down the glass of glucose I puked out everything. And whatever came out was only water. I puked my lungs out early in the morning and after that I felt better. I felt relieved from the pain I was going through all this while. I washed my face and I was feeling sleepy. I wanted to sleep. And I had a thought in my mind that when I will wake up I will be absolutely fine. With that thought I went back to sleep and immediately I fell asleep. But when I woke up after few hours my body was again boiling with temperature, my whole body was aching and I had severe headache. My head felt heavy and dizzy. I was hungry but I had 0% energy level to get up. I asked my brother to get me something. And he made an omelet for me. I had that with two slices of bread, took my medicines and after a lot of struggle I got some sleep. And when I woke up I started feeling cold yet again. Everyone suspected that I was suffering from malaria. My symptoms were same as that of malaria. And it’s been two days and my condition was the same. So I decided to get my blood test done. I went to a diagnostic center to get my blood test done. And I was shocked to see that I wasn’t even able to climb up few stairs. I was so weak that whenever I walked I was scared that I might fall down. Somehow I climbed up the stairs and the doctor did my blood test. He asked us to come after one hour to collect the reports. My brother insisted me on waiting there and having dinner outside. But my body exerted so much that I needed a bed to lie down. So I asked my brother to get the reports and something to eat in meanwhile I will go home. 

I took an auto and went back to my home while my brother decided to wait there. As soon as I reached home, I had a glass of glucose and I went straight to my bed. After a while my brother came with food. He brought chapatti and dal for me. He gave me two chapattis with dal. I was not at all in a mood to eat but I ate because I wanted to recover from whatever was this. My taste bud has died after gulping so many medicines. And the problem with people who knows how to cook food is that they can’t tolerate food with bad taste. For one they know that they can cook better so they don’t want to eat anything beyond that level. But I was not in a condition to do anything so I ate in silence. After a while tears started trickling down my cheek. The thought of eating such food always gives me Goosebumps. And when I was actually eating it and knowing the fact that I can’t help it either gave me a feeling of helplessness. I was feeling so helpless at that point of time that I needed someone to motivate me that I will get out of this phase very soon. I needed someone by my side at that moment, who can take care of my health. I needed someone to hold me while I walk. I needed someone to cook food for me. And in the light of that moment when I didn’t find anyone I was broke. I was in pain and it started pouring down my cheek. Somehow I finished those two chapattis only because I waned to recover from this phase. I took my medicine and was preparing to sleep when my brother came with the reports. The report said I was not infected with malaria virus and I felt light after hearing that. But I was advised to take one medicine which they give to the patients when there is a chance of getting infected from the malaria virus. And that tiny medicine turned my world upside down in the next 12 hours.

I took the tablet at midnight and after a while I drifted into deep sleep. I woke up again at around 12:30am, I started hallucinating. I was not dreaming I was hallucinating. Due to the high dosage of medicine and the negligible intake of food I started hallucinating things which I never experienced before in my life.  

I was in the Matrix movie with levels of devils may cry game crushed into it along with few scenes of star trek movie. It was violent and scary. I was drifting between the hallucinating world and the original world. In the original world I had a severe headache while in the virtual world or the hallucination world my mind was attacked by a virus and I was fighting to save myself. To save my mind I had to save Morpheus from the Matrix movie. It may sound stupid and funny but believe me it wasn’t. I have never had such scary and violent hallucinating experience ever in my life. I could feel it; I was hearing a voice whenever I came back to the original world. Everytime I came back I heard a voice which said if you want to live then you have to fight in the virtual world. I couldn’t believe what was happening with me. At first my subconscious mind thought it’s a dream. But whatever was happening was happening in my consciousness and that freaked me out. I was shit scared. It was horrifying, terrifying and the most violent night of my life. The hallucination ended around 3:48am in the morning and after that I couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night…

72 hours were not over yet. It was morning of the third day and my condition was worsening with every day passing by. After the horrible night what happened the next day was a completely different story. The next day I started hallucinating again. Whole day I didn’t do anything. I was lying on my bed as usual. And at night I had my dinner and I went to sleep by 10:30pm. But I couldn’t sleep as usual. And I started talking with two people whom I have never ever seen in my life before but I thought they were lying on my bed by my side. I was into the conversation when I realized after half an hour that there was no one apart from me in the room and I was speaking on behalf of those two imaginary persons. I was hallucinating again. For a while I again thought that maybe I was dreaming but I was wide awake and I was talking to whom I don’t know. I was speaking on behalf of those two persons and myself thinking that they were lying beside me. I was scared again. What was happening to me was the only question which was circulating in my head. After a bit of struggle I finally managed to sleep. But I woke up again at 4:00am in the morning only to find myself hallucinating again. I got up, I felt suffocated. I went upstairs to the terrace to get some fresh air. And I don’t know how and why, I ended up crying my heart out on the terrace early in the morning. Never before in my life had I felt anything of this sort. In past three days what all I have suffered was the first time happening to me with that intensity. I never experienced hallucination though I was always curious to unveil more about it. But when it dawned upon me I was scared and I couldn’t handle it. To all the curious people out there I must tell you it does sound nice but when we get the reality check its quite harsh in actual. I started doubting that I might have lost my mental balance because of the hallucination. I was talking with myself, pretending to be in conversation with two imaginary people who doesn’t even exist and on the top of that I was speaking on their behalf. For the next one hour I kept on crying on the terrace. I couldn’t stop thinking what wrong deed have I done that I was suffering like this. It’s all the consequence of our karma that’s what they say. And I was in a dilemma that what wrong have I done that I was getting punished by the lord. I asked for forgiveness for all my sins, washed my face and went back to sleep. I decided that I will go to college the next day or else I will end up losing my mental balance if I stayed another day at home.

72 hours were over and it was the most torturous and scary time for me. I don’t know who will believe in it and who will not. I am not sure who will believe in the hallucination part, I am not sure how many people will take this seriously. Maybe they will think this as a stupid narration of few funny events. But only I know how I spent these 72 hours of my life. And one thing is there I will never forget these 72 hours of my life ever.

To be continued…